Health risks. Financial fears. Work suspensions. Routines disrupted and rituals lost. All of these stressors are hitting at once, making everyone in the family more susceptible to higher levels of stress, anxiety and conflict.
Use today’s Daily Dose to get a game plan for calming yourself and everyone else down when it all gets to be too much and you’re afraid the screaming, door slamming, shoving and swearing is about to start.
Creating your “Staying Calm” Plan…
- Start by identifying the triggers that make you want to go off on someone. Write down what makes you lose your temper and be specific. Include the who, what, where and when.
- Think about how you feel and how your body reacts (clenched teeth, sweating, shaking, etc.) when you’re about to lose it. The more you’re aware of these warning signs, the more proactive you can be to take immediate steps to calm yourself.
- Identify specific strategies or actions you can do to de-escalate the tension. Do whatever works best for you, whether it’s walking away from the situation, silently counting to 10, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, using positive self-talk or other methods.
Staying calm sometimes requires a lot of effort, and you have to work at it. But getting verbally or physically abusive is never okay. Always try to model the behaviors and actions you want (and expect) from your kids. But if you do yell or react in ways that are more threatening than loving, apologize and say you’ll do better next time.
A tip about time-out…
Time-out isn’t just for the kids. It’s a good stress-reducer for you, too. When you’re overwhelmed, step into a private space (bathroom or den) for a few moments, collect your thoughts, calm your emotions and then return to the situation.
We've got more insights into dealing with anger and creating an effective “Staying Calm” Plan here:
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