Day 17 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

Yesterday’s Daily Dose asked you to assess how well your family routines and relationships were holding up. Today, we’re building on that theme with tools and techniques you can use to ensure your family gets the most out of learning and working from home.      In these videos, Boys Town education specialists explain how to…      Avoid falling into the vacation/weekend mindset when it’s a work/school day. Provide predictability and consistency, and why maintaining routines is a necessity. Encourage kindness, respect, responsibility and other good behaviors. Keep kids reading and know if their books have age-appropriate content.   In just 10 minutes, you’ll gain new insights and have more options to tackle the challenges and problems that come with this “new normal.” A lot has changed in the past few weeks, and there is much uncertainty ahead. But together, we’ll get through this temporary situation and be stronger and more resilient on the other side. Right now, the most important thing is to maintain your family’s physical and emotional health. Shower your kids with love and support, and nurture your relationships. Also, take time for yourself. The more rested and relaxed you are, the happier your home will be.

Make managing your stress a priority…When stressed out, take action by creating a roadmap that reboots your emotions and leads you to a happy, chill place.

Day 16 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

Working, learning and sheltering at home is likely to continue for the foreseeable future, so it’s not a bad idea to take a moment and assess how well your family routines and relationships are holding up. Are the kiddos maintaining and using their at-home learning spaces? Are they staying on task, reading their school materials and completing assignments? Are you using negative consequences to correct misbehaviors? Are you catching them when they do good and rewarding them with praise and positive attention? Are you modeling the behaviors – patience, respect, empathy and cooperation – you expect to see from everyone else?   One way you can help your family stay on track and make sure everyone respects each other’s personal space and is considerate of each other’s feelings is to develop and strengthen their social skills. Knowing how to ask for help, disagree appropriately and control emotions can make home confinement a more comfortable and – dare we say it – even enjoyable experience. Best of all, reinforcing these skills isn’t as overwhelming or difficult as you may think. We’ve compiled 10 skills, complete with their behavioral steps, for you to download or print out so you can easily discuss and practice them with your kids. Everything you need is available here:

Social Skills and Social Media...It’s also good to remember that being respectful, considerate and kind is just as important when chatting, gaming and posting content online. Finding the right balance of screen time and family time can be difficult, but a family media policy can help. Learn what it is and how you can personalize it to reflect your family’s needs and values here in our Family Media Policy.

Today’s mental health message: Unplug from the news, take a break from work and practice one or more of these coping skills. They’ll help you get back to your happy place!   [Even though April 1 was two weeks ago, why not enjoy the fun of the day again!] It’s April Fool’s Day, pull a prank or make a joke Build a pillow fort Play with modeling clay or Play-Doh Color Ride a bicycle Play card games Play a video/computer game Text or call an old friend Dance Move everything in your room to a new spot

Day 15 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

There’s a lot to be sad and stressed about right now. And if you’re feeling a bit blue and anxious, don’t try to suppress or run from your emotions. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. Sadness has a way of helping us take stock of our lives, find perspective, and realize who and what really matters and who and what are truly important. Stress, too, isn’t always bad. Stressful moments can help focus our mind and give us the strength to push through difficult situations. Experiencing – and accepting – negative feelings are actually good for our mental health. What’s not emotionally healthy is wallowing in the awfulness or letting it wreak havoc on our lives and relationships. You can move past the sadness and stress, if you’re willing to…       See the good that’s around you. There are neighbors decorating still-dormant trees with smiley-face balloons, and entire neighborhoods are turning on Christmas lights to brighten the mood. Teachers are leading car parades and honking hello to their students stuck at home. Little ones are drawing happy emojis and leaving messages of hope on sidewalks and driveways. Good Samaritans are picking up medications, groceries and running errands for those most at risk and vulnerable. Countless examples like these are happening in every community.        Count your blessings.Be grateful for the things, big and small, you do have. Good health, loved ones, a home to shelter in, enough food on the table, an adoring pet, friendships, sunrises and whatever else makes your heart smile.      Be giving.You can’t always control when or if you need help, or whether that help will even come. But you can control the help you offer others. Performing acts of kindness will change your mood and lighten your emotional burden. It can also have a ripple effect, making others feel better and inspiring them to be more generous and giving, too.    These are just a few examples of how you can find happiness even when you’re experiencing hard times or hurting. Boys Town parenting expert Bridget Barnes offers even more insights on relieving anxiety and sadness, including five steps you can take right now.

Tuesday's Tool for Better Mental Health… Use journaling to clarify your feelings, feel calmer, lower your anxiety and return to the present. Download your personal journal page here.

Day 14 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

#PraiseItOn is all about recognizing good and kind behavior when you see it, and because today (March 30th)  is National Doctors’ Day, we are encouraging you to take a moment and express gratitude to all the healthcare professionals and first responders who are on the frontlines of this current crisis. Here’s how you can start spreading good cheer while giving a shout-out to all those who deserve our thanks and appreciation…   When you’re on social media, share a post thanking a doctor you know, a healthcare worker you know, or doctors and healthcare workers in general. Praise them for the good they are doing. Ask friends to do the same and #PraiseItOn (be sure to include the hashtag). Use #PraiseItOn for teachers, small business owners, social workers or anyone you think might be in need of a little extra praise and encouragement at this time. #PraiseItOn multiple times today and throughout the week so the good news and gratitude will spread far and wide! And don’t forget to praise yourself for the great job you are doing at home. It’s amazing what a little praise can do to lift your spirits and the spirits of others.

Monday’s mental health message… How are you doing? No, really. How are you doing? Use this checklist to see how you can make sure your mind, body and spirit are in sync.

Day 13 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

Mister Rogers, the beloved children’s show host, never forgot the wisdom his mother shared when he was a young boy and scared by the events he saw on the news. She told him to, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

It’s easy to get caught up in the bad news inundating our social media feeds and screaming from our television sets. But let’s not forget about all the signs of hope, encouragement and acts of kindness being performed by people all across the country. They’re teaching all of us that we can still practice “community closeness” and be helpers, even from a distance.  

It feels good to give back. Catch the feeling…

One of the best ways to cope with anxiety and uncertainty is to focus on things you can control. Giving back to others is something you can do that will not only brighten someone’s day, but it will bring much-needed happiness to your family, too.

Here are just a few examples of how Boys Town is being a good neighbor by serving and supporting others…   

• Boys Town staff purchased care packages filled with enrichment activities and distributed them to the Family Homes in the Village of Boys Town, Nebraska and New England.
  
• Every school day, our food service staff drop off hot lunches for the boys and girls in our Family Homes. Our youth currently must “go to school” at home, so having lunch delivered gives them a big lift! It lightens the burden on their Family-Teachers, too.   . 
• Staff coordinated a Door Decorating contest among all the Homes in the Village to engage the kids in an entertaining team-building activity.

• Florida siblings Zoey and Jacob used their birthdays to ask for donations to Boys Town North Florida instead of presents for themselves. Their act of generosity raised more than $300. You can see their virtual check presentation here.

• The Boys Town Mother’s Guild has transitioned from making quilts for our kids to making desperately needed protective masks for area healthcare providers.
  
• Crisis Counselors at our National Hotline (800-448-3000) are working remotely so they can stay safe while helping children and parents who call seeking encouragement and guidance.
  
• A Boys Town teacher who can’t be with her students is writing personal notes to all of them so they won’t ever feel as if they’re being abandoned again.

Keep an eye on our social media pages to learn more about these examples of Boys Town spirit. We hope they will inspire your family to become helpers, making your neighborhood a happier, brighter and more “connected” place.

Change is Hard!

I imagine I am not the only person feeling this way.  We wake up everyday with an altered sense of reality because all the things we know as "normal" have changed.  In some ways, these changes are positive as they teach us to examine what is important in our lives - family, health, faith - and we have an opportunity to make changes that take us in a better direction.  I call my 83 year old dad more often, which is something he greatly appreciates.  I put less off to tomorrow because I just don't know what tomorrow will hold.  I am determined to get a big garden in this year.

But some of the changes can stress us - children's routines are upended and we are dealing with behaviors and attitudes we may not have faced before.  Normal things like shopping and cooking and cleaning are now limited and complicated and often bring frustration and anxiety.  Many of the things we did to cope with relationship conflicts in the past now are not available - time with friends, taking a walk, going for a drive.  We are forced to realize that our own methods for working through the challenges in life are maybe not that effective, or perhaps not available to us at all.

I know that ministry to the children, teens and women in my community has been turned upside down for me.  I am struggling to know how to reach the people that I am committed to serve.  I started this blog as a way to do that, but easily grew discouraged at the lack of interest or connection is seemed to create.  So I stopped investing in it.  When we feel something is futile or a waste of time, it is easy to push it away.

Sometimes, when we pray repeatedly over a situation or condition we desperately want to see changed, and it doesn't change, we can experience that same discouragement and we decide to give up.  Sometimes, however, it is our perspective that needs to change in order for us to persevere.  I was posting on this blog because I wanted to see it make a difference and when I didn't, I gave up.  Perhaps I need to shift my perspective and post things I think will be beneficial or helpful simply because it is how I can serve right now, and leave the results up to God.

Many of the faithful listed in Scripture never saw the thing they were promised or saw the answers God was orchestrating to their prayers in their lifetime.  But they persevered and faithfully did all that God asked of them anyway.  Even our Savior Jesus did not see the people understand or receive Him during His time here on earth.

So today I recommit to sharing what I can and doing what God enables me to do, whether I see any outcome to that or not.  And I begin with keeping up with sharing with you the posts from the BoysTown Parenting resources I have.  I won't overwhelm you with the backlog of Daily Doses, but I will post 2-3 of them each day until we are caught up.  These are great little tips and reminders to help you as you parent your children and cope with the family adjustments this pandemic has caused.

And thank you for your patience with me as I learn and grow in faithfulness and perseverance.

Day 12 - Boys Town - Daily Dose of Digital Support

Health risks. Financial fears. Work suspensions. Routines disrupted and rituals lost. All of these stressors are hitting at once, making everyone in the family more susceptible to higher levels of stress, anxiety and conflict. Use today’s Daily Dose to get a game plan for calming yourself and everyone else down when it all gets to be too much and you’re afraid the screaming, door slamming, shoving and swearing is about to start.    Creating your “Staying Calm” Plan… Start by identifying the triggers that make you want to go off on someone. Write down what makes you lose your temper and be specific. Include the who, what, where and when. Think about how you feel and how your body reacts (clenched teeth, sweating, shaking, etc.) when you’re about to lose it. The more you’re aware of these warning signs, the more proactive you can be to take immediate steps to calm yourself. Identify specific strategies or actions you can do to de-escalate the tension. Do whatever works best for you, whether it’s walking away from the situation, silently counting to 10, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, using positive self-talk or other methods. Staying calm sometimes requires a lot of effort, and you have to work at it. But getting verbally or physically abusive is never okay. Always try to model the behaviors and actions you want (and expect) from your kids. But if you do yell or react in ways that are more threatening than loving, apologize and say you’ll do better next time. A tip about time-out… Time-out isn’t just for the kids. It’s a good stress-reducer for you, too. When you’re overwhelmed, step into a private space (bathroom or den) for a few moments, collect your thoughts, calm your emotions and then return to the situation. We've got more insights into dealing with anger and creating an effective “Staying Calm” Plan here:

Today’s mental health message… Empower your kids to take control of their anger before it controls them. The path to empowerment begins with these four steps.